Back to work after a long Christmas holiday….and I didn’t want to go.
I have a seriously bad attitude. After the bonus reduction, I don’t want to do anything. However, in order not to burn any bridges (especially a 20 year bridge), I’m trying to be as professional as possible. I’m also the kind of person who needs to do their best always.
For example, today I spoke to a client in Washington about moving a trip for our technical team back a week. I helped someone work on getting a Top Secret security clearance for a new consultant. I did some accounting work. I pulled together a basic Contractual Joint Venture Agreement for a company we’re working with. I worked with our Tech Manager to get a new Web tool initialized for a big new contract. I did some cost accounting on a development project. I had our receptionist pull together a list of potential consultants for our Sales team to contact. I spoke with a coworker who is off because her mother is dying. I spoke to our Banker about a corporate acquisition (still need to call the lawyer). I organized attendance at an association meeting we would like staff to attend. I arranged to have our accounting data sent to our accountant who will be in on Monday to start reviewing for financial statements…..
The list of things is endless. I forget how much I do. And then my confidence drops and I wonder if I have anything of value to contribute to a possible new employer.
In fact, sometimes I can’t believe the things I’m doing. I occasionally wonder if people will figure out that I’m way in over my head and I have no idea what I’m doing. Apparently, it’s a very common thing and is called “Impostor Syndrome”. I looked it up here.
I’ll continue to work on collecting data and then I’m going to seriously look for a new job.