It’s a crazy-snowy day in Ottawa. Driving is awful. Good day to be at home on the couch.
However, today I went to the funeral of a coworker’s Mom. It’s a story that is a little tragic and a little enlightening. CW’s Mom became a single Mom when her husband left her with three young children, for a younger (and obviously sluttier- sorry, just had to say it) woman. Mom never got over Dad, or the whole idea of being left. She was bitter and angry for a long time, endowing upon her children a legacy of anger and not a little bitterness. She was diagnosed with cancer at 59 and died at 60.
The whole situation makes me think about several issues.
First, does our mental state affect our health so much that we actually shorten our lives if we have toxic thoughts bubbling around in our heads for decades? Could the anger, loneliness, and bitterness brought on by the breakup have hastened Mom’s demise? This is an interesting article about how our emotions and personality may affect our health and the possibility of cancer.
In any case, I ask myself how I can change my stress levels and reactions to toxic people and events to maintain my good health. I don’t want to feel that way because…well, it’s just a crappy way to feel. But I also don’t ever want to be that sick. Being sick sucks. I want to be happy. And I want to be healthy.
Second, CW’s Mom was only 60. If I thought that I only had 10 years left, would I consider that I’d had a life well-lived? Have I done enough? Have I had enough joy? Have I wasted too much time on people, jobs, or things that didn’t contribute in any positive way to my life? Did I bring enough joy to other people? Have I made a difference?
For those of us who haven’t had children, I think the answer may always be “no”. CW’s Mom could say that she raised 3 beautiful children. I cannot claim that. Is being educated enough to have had a full life? Travelling? Having friends? Making money? Being thin?
What do I need to do in the next 10 years….or even the next year….to feel that I’ve had a full, rich life? What if I was diagnosed tomorrow with a horrible disease? What would bring me enough joy that I would be content at the end?
Defintiely some great sex (and hopefully, sometime soon….!) 🙂But further thought is needed on other, less obvious ideas. It’s a good night for contemplation – snowy outside, warm and cozy inside, and a glass of wine close by.