Random Thoughts on Honesty

Today’s post is totally random.  Nothing about the weather today (cold but sunny), or about diet (don’t ask) or fitness (nothing to report) or turning 50 (4.25 months).

It’s about honesty. 

A potential coworker, who will be rejoining us after spending some time on long-term leave, lied about lying on a report.  Did you get that?  She lied on a report and now blames it on someone else.

My philosophy on honesty is this:   unless someone asks you if they look good in white jeans, honesty is always the best policy.

I didn’t always think this.  I grew up in a house where punishment for some wrongdoing could be fierce and mean.  You learned to lie to get yourself out of a jam at all costs.

And then I grew up.

The first time I confessed to a boss that “I totally screwed up” – even before I was found out – his reaction was a revelation to me.  I expected to get fired.  He pondered the situation, and then helped me come up with solutions.  No punishment.  No meanness.  No retribution.

A former boyfriend taught me by example how to apologize.  When I’ve done something stupid, the most authentic thing to do is own the action and sincerely apologize.  Imagine my surprise the first time I did it.  No punishment.  No meanness.  No retribution.

Own the action.  And apologize.People who lie to me make me crazy.  You can almost always tell when someone is lying and respect dies in the face of lies.

How am I going to work with this coworker?  I completely disrespect her.  I can hardly look at her.  I don’t trust her.  There is nothing authentic about her.  She is completely and totally fake.

And then I feel sorry for her because that’s a terrible way to live.

Ancient Irish Ryan family motto:  Death before Dishonour.  No kidding.  Comes with a crest and everything.  Dramatic, eh?  Words to live by.

 

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “Random Thoughts on Honesty

  1. oh my goodness…I so totally agree with you. I actually quit a job that I enjoyed because my boss was such a liar and a thief…won’t go into details, but it made me miserable to have to work with her…

  2. The white jeans comment was CLASSIC!

  3. tra

    yes! i feel the same way- whenever i lie about something (ahem scratching my mom’s car..) i feel SOOO horrible. it eats away at you. when someone lies to me about something i feel very hurt. that’s unacceptable- lying about lying on a report! covering and blaming someone else is horrible!

    i guess it’s just desperation.

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